Fault Lines
by indiandoll
Summary: She isn't strong enough to rely on her heart. The angst-ridden thoughts of Toph as it becomes too much and how she survives.


Despite her calm exterior, placid and uncaring, Toph worries constantly. Her mind furiously turns just as the faint tremors of the earth do, constantly and with so little trace that hardly anyone notices except her. Except her concerns aren't subtle, they roar and scrape at her until she can hardly differentiate between herself and the tectonic plates that grate and tear at each other as they try to make some headway in the world.

Most of the time she can't clear her head, she can't forget about her troubles and just live. So she takes to lashing out at the first person to ask her what the matter is, or she practices her katas for so long and so hard that she can convince herself that the whirring within is just residual vibration from the brutal practice she has just pushed herself through.

She knows she can't allow herself to break, show a crack, or even tremble for a moment. Then he'll see.

She knows that she can't avoid him, or else he'll know something is wrong.

She knows that she can't take a swig of that oh-so-soothing liquor, the last time she did so she almost let loose and wrecked her careful façade. Even in the shadows of her dreams, she can't let her guard down, to trust herself would be a downfall.

She can't escape anything; her demons chase her into the morning light, the glow of the afternoon, and the starlit night. They cause the shadow in her smile, the tremor in her voice, the almost imperceptible fear in her eyes, and the gray cast to her previously alabaster skin.

If she stops running, then they'll catch her. That's how a chase works; eventually one of them has to give up: the predator or the prey. Unfortunately for her, she's both. This circuitous pursuit doesn't end, the predator is tireless and the prey's fear is enough to sustain her until her next outburst or grueling practice.

The idea of her feelings breaking out is unimaginable. She can't fathom each and every fret breaking loose from her grasp and swarming her world. She squares them away neatly, assigning each and every one its own personal cell. But she can't leave them alone or else they'll start an uprising and rise against her. She must stay with them, for every moment of every day. She closes herself in with the little bastards.

Her friends notice, how can they not? Their Toph isn't in the present anymore, she's either lingering in the past or bracing herself for the future. To Toph, their concern is almost tangible. She reassures them that nothing is wrong, and she convinces Aang and Katara well enough. But she can't fool her best friend.

Even when he presses her to divulge some of the weight of her troubles, she just shoulders it and continues on. She adds a worry to her jail though, locking it away in between "Oh God, do they know?" and "Can he feel my heartbeat pounding?", so that they have a new mate: "I can't let him worry about me when he has so much happiness to be had."

Her constant mental guard grows weary, and her exterior mirrors her tumultuous state.

It just so happens that the chase ends one day, when she attempts to calm herself through a muscle-tearing, pulse-raising, practice. The strenuous work she has been doing is enough to distract her so that the predator is able to catch the prey, the rebellious worries are able to plan (and execute) their uprising, and a grain of sand shifts so slightly that the monstrous maws of the tectonic plates are able to close upon her and swallow her frail body entirely.

She is overcome by the attacks and faints.

As luck, or fate, would have it, Sokka and the ever-present Suki had decided earlier that morning, with much pleading on the boy's part, that they would join the younger girl in her practice, just to give her some variation and perhaps some much needed companionship. Only a couple minutes have passed between the time that Toph has weakened and the time that the duo comes across her in her rocky clearing. Immediately Sokka knows something is wrong.

Suki although bright, has a very set view of Toph (one that paints her as a lazy, though skilled, young woman) and believes her to be basking in the sun. But as the pair approaches the prone girl, Suki realizes that her partner is right, since not a single stone has been chucked their way.

Sokka's worry shines bright in his eyes, as the beginnings of tears glide across the orbs causing the darkened blues to glisten with fear. His fingers smooth over the skin of Toph's neck, trying earnestly to find a pulse that beats, the thing that powers his best friend's life. His own heart responds twofold, as he finally discovers the position where his fingers can soundly feel the weak rhythm of Toph's heart.

He clutches her small frame to his chest, trying to quiet the panic that had set in him the moment he had seen her lying still. He allows himself to shed a tear before he steadies his mind and gingerly gathers the dear girl in his arms.

Suki observes the scene as it unfolds; she watches the young man as he undergoes a flash flood of emotions. She realizes that this bond, although a mite strange, stands stronger than her own fledgling one. She isn't sure how to process this information though, as she sees the quickly withdrawing figure of her boyfriend disappear from sight, cradling the young woman firmly as if to keep her from further harm.

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Katara's hands glowed with the healing power of the pool of water as she inspected Toph's overworked body. She immediately saw the problem: exhaustion; from what she didn't know, but suspected the city-shaking, forest-toppling practice Toph put in every day. She mended the small amount of bruising the younger girl had suffered from the fall as Sokka twisted his hands and observed.

Once Katara pronounced her work complete, her brother popped up from his seat against the wall, rushed to the patient's side, and once he saw that she had not yet opened her eyes immediately began to demand his sister to come back and finish healing his best friend. Slowly, the healer explained that what Toph needed most right now was to rest, as much as she could, in order to heal and return to her former glory. A bit taken aback, Sokka nodded and made to leave the room, much to Katara's surprise.

But he quickly marched back in with a pillow. He strode over to the chair against the wall, drug it over to Toph's bedside, plopped the pillow on top of the chair, and sat down. Katara just shook her head and muttered something unintelligible as she left.

However as she exited the room, she heard Sokka whisper to Toph fervently, "Come on Toph, you gotta rest and get healthy again. I'm not strong enough without you." Katara looked back to see her brother leaning over the girl to give her forehead a kiss before grasping her hand.


End file.
